I Feel Fine

So today is our last day before the world is destroyed by a black hole which will inevitably be created by that giant ring in Switzerland called the Large Hadron Collider. What does it say about us all that at the brink of doom we’re all scrambling frantically—not to save ourselves from oblivion—but to come up with the best puerile sex puns from the words “black hole”, “ring”, and that oh-so-amusing anagram of “hadron”?

I for one welcome our new Swiss overlords and I’m looking forward to getting a dumbed-down and misreported version of whatever it might be that they find out in a few months’ time.