Ukian General Election

I’m not a UK citizen, I’m not a politician or political pundit, and I have payed very little attention to the Ukian election campaigns. If that means you don’t care what I think about the election then you might want to stop reading now. On the other hand you might have nothing better to do. I guess it might be a good idea that someone read this, if only to avoid the very awkward philosophical question of whether or not, if no-one reads a piece, I can truly be said to have written it.

Anyway, here’s the gist of it as I see it. Labour and the Conservatives are still the big two. The Conservatives are becoming less popular because they’re so racist. They’re edging further right until they eventually fall off that wing altogether and land squarely on the orange lap of Robert Kilroy Silk. They are by now too unpopular to win, but inertia will grab them second place.

Labour is drifting right too, as if compelled into the gap left by the Tories like a window closing when you open the door in a small room. Labour now occupy the space traditionally shared by the two main parties. They’re sitting in the fuselage during their stop-over on the way to the right wing. Unfortunately the pilot’s seat is in their with them and they’re almost guaranteed to get another try at sitting in it.

The Liberal Democrats are gaining popularity. They seem to have a popular stance on some issues but I’m not convinced they know how to win an election yet. All of the online questionnaires reckon I should vote Lib Dem, if only I was a citizen. I’m inclined to agree. They’ll make further gains over the course of the coming term and may get second place by the next election.

This is my impression of the electoral landscape without having conducted more than cursory research. I don’t intend to back up my assertions, since I meant this only as an indication of the impression I’m getting, rather than as an argument for or against any party. So, if any of my readers agree or disagree or care in the slightest, tell me what your impression is. Who’ll win? Why? What have I got right and what have I got wrong?