Remember the morning a couple of years ago when you went into the local supermarket and were startled by pre-teens passing you at high speed in shoes that, on closer inspection, turned out to have wheels on them? I know it’s hard to cast your mind back, because you haven’t seen someone below the age of thirteen in any sort of regular, wheel-less shoe since then. I’ll allow you a moment of quiet reflection about the good old days when you could walk down the street in safety before I spring the news on you.

Done? Quietly contented? Ok, cool. Now, did you know they make Heelys in adult sizes? Turns out there’s this place called “The Internet” where you can buy all sorts of things that show up at your house in a couple of days. I’m now starting the intensive training period in which I presume I will learn to aggressively skate past balance-challenged elderly people at a disrespectfully close distance. I can’t wait.

Now I know it all sounds great, but it’s not all fun and games. I should remind you that this new technology does basically require that you walk around all day on top of some tiny wheels. I’ll be back with a injury report tomorrow.