I Knew I Shouldn’t Have Left

From RTÉ News, my hometown can kick your hometown’s ass:

Greystones in Co Wicklow has been named the world’s most liveable community.

The LivCom Awards, which took place in China this year, focuses on environmental management and the creation of a liveable communities.

There were 20 other towns from around the world were competing for the award.

I would have thought there were more than 20 eligible towns, but maybe they were scared away when they heard who the competition would be. Greystones FTW!

Mary McAleese Supports Gay Marriage

…I assume. From a brief news piece on the President’s speech at a national forum for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered youth: 

President McAleese said that in order to respect diversity among young people, society needed to stand up for democratic values and refuse to go along with loudly voiced prejudices.

I take it this also includes refusing to go along with the loudly voiced prejudices or Ireland’s conservative Catholic majority? I’m getting antsy. Can we have our enlightenment yet?

I don’t know what McAleese’s stance is on gay marriage, so I can neither support nor condemn her. It just makes me uncomfortable to see a representative of our country making statements like this when it’s so clear that the majority of the people in this country will never let it be more than an empty soundbite.

Catch You on the Flip Side

Wow, I’ve managed to have my life entirely overtake my blog for the last while. All sorts of fun and interesting things have been happening in work and life and, sadly, will likely remain undocumented. I just wanted to drop a short note here to mention that I’ll be disappearing to California early tomorrow (or, most likey, not tomorrow, since you’re probably not reading this on the day that I posted it) and I’ll be away for three weeks. I expect there’ll be some Twittering from me, but no blogging.

Babylon A.D.

This film features a man blowing up a robot attack plane with a handgun while doing a back somersault on a snowmobile. It features the line, “We’ll all die when we get to New York. Well, good night.” The main characters travel from Mongolia to Vladivostok via Kazakhstan. These facts should be all you need to know to decide whether or not you want to see it.

Also, drink Coke Zero.

I Feel Fine

So today is our last day before the world is destroyed by a black hole which will inevitably be created by that giant ring in Switzerland called the Large Hadron Collider. What does it say about us all that at the brink of doom we’re all scrambling frantically—not to save ourselves from oblivion—but to come up with the best puerile sex puns from the words “black hole”, “ring”, and that oh-so-amusing anagram of “hadron”?

I for one welcome our new Swiss overlords and I’m looking forward to getting a dumbed-down and misreported version of whatever it might be that they find out in a few months’ time.

Michael Winslow

If you already know who Michael Winslow is then I’m very impressed and I think that we should be friends. You’re a cool person and I like you.

If you don’t know who Michael Winslow is, but you realise it when I say the name Larvell Jones, then we can still be friends, but I’m not so likely to call you to see if you want to come out to play.

If you’ve got this far and you’re still none the wiser, and if I say, “Jonesy from Police Academy,” and then I go on to say, “the guy who made all the delightfully amusing sound effects,” and you still sit there like a gormless idiot and mutter something about being, “not really that into Police Academy,” well then I think we have a ourselves a problem and it might be best if you just leave and go sit somewhere and think about what you’ve done.

Anyway, all that out of the way, I went to see Michael Winslow at the Tivoli last night. For a man who can impersonate an argument going on in another room with loud bass music in the background, or who can reproduce an entire scene of Star Wars with a convincing facsimile of what probably took tens of Skywalker Sound engineers a few days to make in the first place, he does a surprisingly terrible Irish accent.

That was the only drawback though, and it really isn’t a show about impersonations. Its about making familiar sounds, but sounds which you can’t properly imagine coming from a human being. It’s about thinking, “Hey, this guy’s as good as Hendrix, but that schmo Hendrix had to use a guitar,” or, “It’s true, waves crashing on the beach do sound like that. But shut up, because I drank a couple of pints and I want to last until the end of the show before needing to go to the bathroom.”

Of course there’s the drawback that I can’t now just steal some of his jokes to make myself seem funnier. I’d just sound like a retard making beeping noises. Oh well.

Apparently he’s got a new show with Bill “Jello pudding—eating mother-fucker” Cosby coming out soon, which may be worth a look, although it would make me quite concerned that it might open up a temporal wormhole between now and the 1980s, given that much 80s in one place.

Waiting for the Mac Version

If you’re unlucky enough to use Windows, there’s some faint light—not at the end of the tunnel, but at least slightly illuminating the squalid darkness. Pick yourself up a nifty new browser at some point today or tomorrow (depending on your time zone, and whenever it actually comes out for real). Sadly, I have to wait for the Mac version.

Not Done

Bah! It turns out I was prematurely optimistic in this post. Dammit. The current plan is for my life to stop sucking by some time this Thursday. Fingers crossed.

California Dreaming

As of yesterday I have my flights and time off work booked for a holiday in California for three weeks starting at the end of September. Huzzah! I’ve taken the naïve and costly step of buying my own flights rather than trying to wrangle some work-related reason to be in Mountain View around that time, but no matter. I hear most people pay for their own holidays these days, so I might as well join in.

There are a few people going, but true to my usual form I’m not completely sure who those few people are. We haven’t (to my knowledge) got anything resembling itinerary yet, besides  a plan to spend some time in San Francisco initially. But then if we did have more of a plan I’m sure I wouldn’t know about it. I like to think of this as my ability to just wing it and go with things without sweating the details. Other people call it failing to pay attention.

While I’ve been there twice in recent years, there’s still an awful lot of California I haven’t seen. Some of that awful lot goes by the name LA, which I’m quite looking forward to visiting. Maybe I can find a minor celebrity to take home with me as what the ancient Egyptians referred to as a “souvenir”.

Get Smart

Get Smart is the epitome of what I would call a decent movie. It would be crazy to call it great, but equally crazy to blast it. It’s like a sturdy table that lasts for fifty years—very capably constructed, without any real flaws, but nothing to write home about (clearly writing on the internet has a lower barrier to entry than writing home). If you’ve already seen The Dark Knight, Wall·E, and Hellboy II then go check it out—it’s worth both your time and your money. If you haven’t seen those other movies, then there can be nothing for it but to collapse in deepest humiliation.