Apple Battery Recall

Apple has started to recall some of its laptop batteries, having discovered that many of its customers weren’t keen on the unadvertised "iExplode" feature that had been included at no extra charge in some models. My Powerbook’s battery is among those being recalled. The new, non-exploding version will be arriving in a matter of weeks. Then I can finally start using my laptop without the need for a helmet and armoured vest.

Thanks to a nifty little application called coconutBattery I now know that my current (just over a year old) battery is down to 91% of its original maximum capacity. So the replacement will presumably give me at least a 10% improvement in battery life. I say "at least" because the battery technology may well have got better in the last year also.

Whee! Free improvements to my lappy only at the cost of the risk of personal injury.

Family Guy Returns

…and I bet it’s better than Superman Returns (Zing!)

Family Guy season five starts tonight on Fox. They’re calling it season five, but it will become series six when it comes out on DVD over here. For some reason they decided that the European market (or perhaps just the UK and Ireland) should be sold season four as two separate series, four and five. Why must Fox screw around with everything like that?

Anyway, whatever you want to call the new season, those of you with bittorrent clients already know what to do.

The Simpsons starts its 18th season starts tonight too, but who could be bothered to download that?

Picard Dance

Continuing the theme from the last post–and after having looked at quite a few TNG videos on YouTube (honestly I felt a tear while watching the intro sequence for the first time in how many years)–check out this little gem:

Star Trek Anniversary

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the first airing of the first episode of Star Trek. While the much more significant day, from my perspective, will come on the 28th of September next year with the 20th anniversary of The Next Generation, I felt this was an opportune time to try to describe the influence Trek has had on my life.

I’m going to flat out state this at the beginning so that no-one is under any illusions: I genuinely don’t think I’m capable of expressing in this medium the depth of TNG’s significance to me. Feel free to make light of that if you will, but it’s true. I’m not one of the guys you see in the conventions wearing Vulcan ears or Klingon costumes. I never wore a Starfleet uniform. But there are aspects of my personality and aspirations that resonate so strongly with some of what’s portrayed in that show that it’s difficult to believe that I came to them independently of its influence on me.

TNG is not without its flaws. In fact is positively reeks of them. It’s riddled with boring, annoying or unbelievable characters. Some of the acting is terrible. The special effects in some episodes must have been appalling even at the time. Many episodes are near photocopies of original series episodes or other existing works.

Even as I recognise and enumerate these glaring deficiencies I find myself incapable of holding them against the show. It’s like criticising the Mona Lisa for having no eyebrows. TNG was set in space, but it was about humanity. It was about what makes us special, what we should value, and what we could be. When it succeeded in enlightening such topics it rendered any judgement of its production values petty and pointless.

Every alien race was a differently shaped mirror held up to look at ourselves from a new perspective. Sometimes they gave a bad impression – a mirror that gave too good a view up humanity’s snotty nostrils. But no matter how nasty and petty and unenlightened we saw ourselves to be in these mirrors, there was always the hope presented in the show’s portrayal of 24th century humanity: a future so idealised, so utopian, so perfect. But still… so believable? To me it was. Hell, when I watched it as a kid it seemed an inevitable future. Maturity has since led me to expect the future to be more Firefly than Star Trek, but that little ember of utopian aspiration will never be extinguished.

And there I think I’ve hit upon something significant: the ideal. I want to live in that world. More than that, I want the unfortunate people who got crapped on by being born into the hopeless parts of this world to have a chance to live in that world instead. No money, no poverty, no tyranny, no oppression.

Nowhere is the outside-looking-in observation of humanity, most visible in the one-dimensional alien archetypes, better represented than by Data. Data’s relentless quest to learn what it is to be human mirrors the same quest that I think most of us go through. I’m not sure it ever really ends for us either. Data’s naïve questioning of things that we take for granted–humour, say, or romance–gives us an opportunity to see our peculiarities from the outside, perhaps to appreciate them in new light or to reflect on what’s really important.

Okona
What about love?
Data
The act or the emotion?
Okona
They’re both the same.
Data
I believe that statement to be inaccurate, sir.

Like I said, I don’t know that I possess the coherence of thought necessary to really capture the meaningfulness of this show. I’m almost ashamed to post this feeble attempt at it. But it’s something I wanted to tell, and if this is the best I can tell it then so be it.

Car Door Puzzle

You know when you try to unlock a car door while the handle is being pulled and it stays locked? Does anyone know why that happens? Is it a limitation in the design of the door or is it intentional? Because it’s really annoying.

Freddy Mercury’s 60th Birthday

Today would have been Freddie Mercury‘s 60th birthday.

Mercury, with Queen, can pretty much be credited for any interest I might have in music. For a long time they were the only band I listened to. I spent part of the summer of 1997 in Slovenia with my parents. We would drive our rental car from our hotel to the interesting parts of the country, me in the back listening to Queen Rocks on my then-new Sony discman. Even then I attached particular significance to "No One But You", the surviving band-members’ tribute to Mercury.

To this day there is more Queen in my CD collection than any other artist. If anything can be considered to be my all-time favourite song, "Bohemian Rhapsody must surely be it. My pubescent unrequited crushes were made bearable by endless listening to "You’re My Best Friend" and "Somebody to Love". "Fat Bottomed Girls" gave me my… um… healthy body image. Yes, that will do.

Needless to say Queen will be on heavy rotation in iTunes today.

Barton Cup

I spent Saturday afternoon on Old Conna golf course in Bray, supporting my cousins in the final of the Barton Cup, the biggest golf competition in Leinster. Or so I’m led to believe. About it being the biggest, I mean; I’m sure about where I was and what I was doing.

The competition had a certain historical importance to it. My grandfather and his brother were the pair that won the Barton Cup for Royal Dublin in 1946. Sixty years later, another pair of Coghlan brothers played in the final for the same club.

Having not lost a single match in the entire competition, they were expected to do quite well. Royal Dublin were already 4-1 up from the first leg of the final, so they only needed two wins from the five matches. My cousins went out fourth and led by a narrow margin for most of the match. They were two up going onto the seventeenth hole, so their opponents needed to win both remaining holes.

The first two pairs had already finished, with Royal Dublin having got the first of the two wins they needed to take the cup. It came down to our guys only needing to draw on one of theur remaining holes.

Which they did, on hole seventeen. They actually won by getting close enough to the hole that their opponents gave them a gimme, so they didn’t get the satisfaction of sinking the last ball.

It wasn’t quite as spectacular as the 1946 final is said to have been. That one went to a sudden death tie-breaker which my grandfather won with a chip in from off the green from about eight miles away. That may have been slightly exaggerated.

So watch out, whoever plays that final in 2066. You’re in for some difficult competition.

I have some photos up on Flickr.

Steve Irwin

It’s only fitting that a guy who made his living pissing off crocodiles by ramming his thumb up their buttholes was killed by a pissed-off animal. Stabbed through the heart by an angry stingray has got to rank up there on the Best Death Ever list. He’s up in heaven right now sticking his thumb up Archangel Michael’s butthole. That ought to reeeeaaally piss him off.